From dc0f95d41f15bd0ceb2774b0dc0a5f769f8b5cf8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: writerdev Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2022 18:22:28 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] Updated story script --- game/script.rpy | 116 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++--------------------- 1 file changed, 65 insertions(+), 51 deletions(-) diff --git a/game/script.rpy b/game/script.rpy index 53d0482..f5a4185 100644 --- a/game/script.rpy +++ b/game/script.rpy @@ -96,7 +96,9 @@ F "Three miles is nothing!" M "You usually don’t even walk three miles in a day." -F "Maybe not, but I’ve been walking all my life!" +F "Yeah but I {i}have{/i} walked three miles in a day!" + +F "So {i}HA{/i}!" "Hoo boy." @@ -191,7 +193,7 @@ M "Those supplements are more for gym workouts." M "And destroy bathrooms." -"The horrors." +"{i}The horrors.{/i}" "Farelie frowns but takes the proffered canteen." @@ -207,7 +209,7 @@ M "I think I can refill my canteen when we get to a good break spot." F "Mkay." -"She’s careful to pour the icy water on her plump pink gills, a shiver running over her." +"She’s careful to pour the icy water on her pink gills, a shiver runs over her entire body as the liquid life refreshes her dried out skin." F "O-oh, that’s nice." @@ -231,53 +233,22 @@ M "M-maybe I’ll have some too..?" F "Sure." -F "In fact, you can have the rest!" +F "In fact, let’s trade, you can have the rest of this!" -"She takes my metal canteen and slips it into her backpack and hands me the bottle of strawberry disgust." +"Ah crap." -"Oh god damn it." +"I fake sip from the clear bottle and nod to Farelie." + +"After placing the bottle of sugary preservatives and my empty canteen we continue on." + +"Good thing there’s a fillup station a while down the path." jump secondchoice label secondchoice: +M "You ready to keep going?" -"I shoulder my bag and look to my workout partner." - -"Her mouth curls into an amused smile, gaze fixed into the forest." - -"Did she notice something? I don’t see anything." - -M "Ready?" - -F "{i}Sshhh!!{/i}" - -F "{i}Look!{/i}" - -"I follow her finger back to the log I’d noticed earlier." - -"The log blinks at our presence." - -"?!" - -F "The gator over there’s got some friends!" - -"I almost think it just doesn’t notice the frogs when one of them flicks its tongue at his eye, getting an amused stare in return." - -M "Huh. Got a camera on you?" - -F "You know it!" - -"She already has her phone out, recording the whole thing." - -"I watch the scene myself for a few moments longer." - -M "Alright, we should continue." - -M "If we want to get out of here by evening, we aren’t going to have much time to sightsee." - -M "And we definitely won’t be safe after nightfall." - -F "Awww… Yeah, let’s keep going." +F "Yeah, let’s go!" "I start a slow jog again and pick up the pace once I hear her following along." @@ -349,7 +320,7 @@ F "I don’t… I don’t think I can…" M "Come on Farelie, you’re already halfway there! You’re doing such a good job." -F "It {i} hurts {/i} Morgan." +F "My gills {i}burn{/i} Morgan." M "I know, I know. But it’s almost over." @@ -373,6 +344,8 @@ label tryagain: "Maybe I’m pushing her too hard." +"Coming here was her idea and this is meant to be fun, I shouldn’t be acting like a drill sergeant." + M "Alright, Farelie. That’s good enough." "I can see the subtle, grateful look in her eyes. It’s accompanied by a relieved sigh." @@ -484,13 +457,51 @@ jump thirdchoice label thirdchoice: M "You ready to keep going?" +"Her mouth curls into an amused smile, gaze fixed into the forest." + +"Did she notice something? I don’t see anything." + +M "Ready?" + +F "{i}Sshhh!!{/i}" + +F "{i}Look!{/i}" + +"I follow her finger back to the log I’d noticed earlier." + +"The log blinks at our presence." + +"?!" + +F "The gator over there’s got some friends!" + +"I almost think it just doesn’t notice the frogs when one of them flicks its tongue at his eye, getting an amused stare in return." + +M "Huh. Got a camera on you?" + +F "You know it!" + +"She already has her phone out, recording the whole thing." + +"I watch the scene myself for a few moments longer." + +M "Alright, we should continue." + +M "If we want to get out of here by evening, we aren’t going to have much time to sightsee." + +M "And we definitely won’t be safe after nightfall." + +F "Awww… Yeah, let’s keep going." + +"I start a slow jog again and pick up the pace once I hear her following along." + "Instead of an answer, she cocks her head and flashes me a smile." "With her pose struck, I’m granted a thumbs-up." "A few sips of water later, we begin back on the course." -"We pass by more small details, but nothing as interesting as the frogs from earlier." +"We pass by more small details, but nothing as interesting as the frogs." "After several more obstacles (and lots of coaxing and encouragement), we reach the end." @@ -506,12 +517,12 @@ M "You ready to keep going?" F "Morgan, can we just… not…?" -M "Out of all the obstacles today, you want to quit because of some {i} mud {/i} ?" +M "Out of all the obstacles today, you want to quit because of some {i}mud{/i}?" M "This is noth-" "Before the words even finish coming out of my mouth, I already know I’ve chosen poorly." -F "It’s the {i}mud{/i}, it’s my {i}neck{/i}, it’s my {i}back{/i}, it’s {i}everything!{/i}" +F "It’s the {i}mud{/i}, it’s my {i}neck{/i}, it’s my {i}gills{/i}, it’s {i}everything!{/i}" F "I’m exhausted Morgan, can’t we just skip this last one?" @@ -587,8 +598,11 @@ jump endingcheck label going: $ Farelie += 1 -M "Farelie, what was the point of putting yourself through all of this if you stop right at the end?" -M "Look, you can see the end {i}right{/i} there." +M "Farelie, I believe in you." + +M "You’ve been doing great all day." + +M "Look, you can see the end {i}just{/i} over there." "I could almost swear I see the beginning of tears." @@ -1228,7 +1242,7 @@ label bonusend: "The other day she picked up a new workout outfit, and it’s been a real motivator." -"... for me, that is." +"... for me." "I’m proud of how much better she’s gotten at this, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she is too." @@ -1248,7 +1262,7 @@ F "Hey, quit looking at me like that." M "Like what?" -F "You know what, you dirty dog." +F "You know what." "She laughs, gently punching me in the shoulder."