12 c d first

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Nio 2021-08-25 01:11:41 +10:00
parent 56affbca94
commit 8dc84b8adc
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ch7-review.txt Normal file
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@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
chapter 7:
Opening
>opening scene needs the CG of Fang's ass when Anon is gawping as she leans over the amp, it's in the art channel somewhere
Tarot Reading
>swapping Anon and Stella's places (and directions) in the tarot reading scene would solve the issue with "OPPAI" being flipped to "IAPPO"
>whoosh SFX plays after Stella has left the scene, I suggest putting it in front of the `moveoutright` statement so it plays as that movement occurs
>the screenshake effect when Anon trips ends with a slightly misaligned screen and you can see some transparency around the edges
>Anon does an odd screenwrap teleport when he falls over, you could check out when anon trips over gardening tools in chapter 5 for some ideas
Showtime (general)
>there's some script duplication at the start of both branches, I would pull this segment out of both branches and just stick it in front of where the real divergence occurs
Showtime (leave cables)
>this scene needs a soft transition like `with fade` after "We've got sweet music to play." since at the moment all the characters just appear
>IMO this scene should not be taking place in Moe's backroom since it's supposed to be on a stage inside the main restaurant, looks to me like this is an oversight from the original game. You have a few options:
>>A) ask for someone to source and process a stage background
>>B) re-use the CG from the failed concert (potentially controversial)
>>C) use the Moe's Pizza background with the `dimmer_darker` effect behind the characters
>ask for an applause loop to insert at the appropriate point
>if you use option B, return to a BG with the character sprites when it hits "The bandmates' faces light up" so you can show them all happy and sheit
>Reed is falling off the right side of the screen a bit
Showtime (fix cables)
>see comment about the background
>Reed is getting too cosy with Fang
>Summertime Synth only plays for a couple of lines, I would move the `stop music fadeout` much further down. When Trish leaves would be a good time.
>the line where Trish says "You are not the only person in the world!" was changed to "We exist too, you know!" in the script doc
NOTE: For the above point I should have mentioned earlier, there are occasionally updated lines or segments that we have to watch out for - first thing I do when I'm reworking a chapter is to look for any changes in this google doc https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-T0SNGgRkypzXshZ16JqdKqaHL4fKUIR5XWsz0YTH_A
>
Post Showtime (leave cables)
>the fanghug sprite after "Before I could react I was swept up in a blur of feathers" is suspended in midair, try a `yalign` of 0.0 or 0.1
Cleaning Up
>Reed appears very close to the right screen edge again. For situations like this where the quick and dirty location definitions are jank (`rright`?) you can specify the positioning with a custom `xalign`. This usually takes a bit of trial and error.
>Trish overlaps quite a lot with Reed when she appears
>personally I would not have gone for the heartbeat as well as the music

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@ -329,6 +329,7 @@ image farnsworth flip = im.Flip("other/farnsworth.png", horizontal=True)
image carldelewski flip = im.Flip("other/carldelewski.png", horizontal=True)
image fangdad unimpressed flip = im.Flip("fangparents/fangdad unimpressed.png", horizontal=True)
image naser handout flip = im.Flip("naser/naser handout.png", horizontal=True)
image fang adorable flip = im.Flip("fang/emotive set/fang adorable.png", horizontal=True)
# vfx
image black = "#000"

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@ -72,17 +72,19 @@ label chapter_11D:
A "What?! Whats with the look?"
"She shakes her head and holds up her wrist."
"She shakes her head and covers her mouth."
A "Uh… its ten thirty-seven? Why is that funny?"
A "Uh… Why is that funny?"
F "Anon you ignorant slut."
F "Notice something missing?"
F "Notice something about me? Anything at all"
A "...Why do you have feathers on your elbows anyway?"
F "Gawd! No! Im not enbie, Anon."
F "Gawd! No! Im not actually enbie, Anon."
"What? Oh! She."
A "Oh… Still, why do you have feathers on your elbows?"

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@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
play music "audio/OST/its_footloose_now.ogg" fadein 1.0
"Later at my hovel of a home…"
show anon neutral at aleft
show anon neutral at aleft with dissolve
A "Almost finished."
@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "I keep having these dreams where she mans up and I'm forced to talk to her again! They feel more like nightmares now!"
F "Rosa is too busy to help - with the exercises, I mean - but I hope the camping trip will be fun."
F "Rosa is too busy to help{w=0.2} - with the exercises, I mean - but I hope the camping trip will be fun."
A "Well it's done. All of it."
@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "You're so good to me."
A "Thanks. F- Lucy."
A "Thanks. F-{w=0.3} Lucy."
F "Is there nothing you really want from me?"
@ -42,15 +42,15 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "More naps?"
F "or perhaps hugs?"
F "Or perhaps hugs?"
F "Hand holding?"
pause 0.5
"I'm sweating profusely."
F "Or maybe...a kiss?"
F "Or maybe...{w=0.4}a kiss?"
A "Kiss? With that huge snoot?"
A "Kiss?{w=0.1} With that huge snoot?"
F "Why? Are you afraid? Have you never kissed a dinosaur before?"
@ -58,17 +58,17 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "Not even a human girl?"
A "Uhhh..."
A "{cps=*0.5}Uhhh...{/cps}"
F "So I'm your first? That's exciting."
F "So I'm your first?{w=0.2} That's exciting."
A "This is so weird, I don't know how I'm feeling right now. Don't you feel weird too?"
F "I've kissed shorter snouts, yours can't be that different."
F "Uh...look Anon, if it doesn't work out..."
F "Uh...{w=0.3}look Anon, if it doesn't work out..."
F "...It won't change anything. Right?"
F "...It won't change anything.{w=0.3} Right?"
A "Promise?"
@ -105,15 +105,15 @@ label chapter_12C:
"..."
F "*glug* *hack* *urk*"
F "*glug*{w=0.2} *hack*{w=0.2} *urk*"
A "Oh god how long is your tongue?! I think I reached your tonsils!"
A "Oh god how long is your tongue?! I think I almost threw up."
F "*cough* Oh god *cough* I think I almost threw up."
F "*cough*{w=0.2} Oh god *cough*{w=0.2} I think I reached your tonsils! *hurk*"
A "Shit sorry sorry sorr-"
F "No no. Its fine. Let me think."
F "No no. Its fine.{w=0.2} Let me think."
F "Lets try the other one again."
@ -121,7 +121,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
"..."
F "Dont open as *mnph*... wide."
F "Dont open as *mnph*...{w=0.4} wide."
"..."
@ -137,13 +137,13 @@ label chapter_12C:
"..."
A "I dont know… Ill probably never get the hang of this."
A "I dont know…{w=0.2} Ill probably never get the hang of this."
F "Really? I uh… think it was… nice."
F "Really? I uh… {w=0.2}think it was… {w=0.2}nice."
A "Wait seriously?"
F "Y-yeah. Youre not a *bad* kisser."
F "Y-yeah. Youre not a {i}bad{/i} kisser."
A "Bullshit."
@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "I can feel your heart beating. Its so loud."
stop music fadeout 1.0
scene black with fade
A "Y-yeah, same."
A "Y-yeah,{w=0.2} same."
"..."
@ -236,7 +236,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
A "{i}Alriiiiiight. As long as we have tents. I dont wanna deal with insects.{/i}"
A "{i}As long as we have tents.{/i} Me and my stupid fucking mouth."
A "{i}As long as we have tents.{/i}{w=0.2} Me and my stupid fucking mouth."
scene campsite
show anon neutral at acenter
@ -256,9 +256,9 @@ label chapter_12C:
St "Wait, which ones were which again?"
A "Wha- If I bite into even a single bug your cards are going into the campfire."
A "Wha-{w=0.2} If I bite into even a single bug your cards are going into the campfire."
Ro "Hey! Camping is supposed to be relaxing! Relax!"
Ro "Hey! Camping is supposed to be relaxing!{w=0.2} Relax!"
Ro "Also, when youre done with the tents you need to start the campfire."
@ -268,7 +268,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
St "Just… figured youd know, is all."
A "Why would I Hey!"
A "Why would I{cps=*0.5}...{/cps} Hey!"
St "The principal fits the bill so well."
@ -327,7 +327,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
"Lucy gets that look in her eye and snatches the bigger one right off."
St "Eventide draws near. I believe it best we sojourn from the fated ones, Rosa. My scrying glass awaits."
pause 0.5
"What."
show fang neutral flip
F "Er, what? I dont speak… whatever the fuck that was."
@ -337,6 +337,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
A "Then why didnt she just say that?"
"Rosa and Stella take their plates of imposter kebabs and start walking to the other end of Rosas yard."
show fang neutral at sleft with dissolve
stop music fadeout 1.0
play music "audio/OST/middle_of_nowhere.ogg" fadein 1.0
hide rosa
@ -355,7 +356,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
"Damn her and her filthy ptero-logic."
A "Fiiiiiiiiine. You can have a bite."
A "{cps=*0.65}Fiiiiiiiiine{/cps}. You can have a bite."
"I hold out the meat on a stick for her."
@ -365,7 +366,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
"Once she pulls away Im left holding a crispy yet clean wooden stick."
F "Mmmm… Stolen food is the best food."
F "Mmmm… {w=0.4}Stolen food is the best food."
show fang happy with dissolve
@ -397,6 +398,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
A "Heh."
pause 0.5
"Lucy and I listen to the crackling of the fire for a few minutes."
"Somewhere in the distance I hear Stella yelling at Rosa about leaving the telescope cap on."
@ -415,7 +417,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "... Your kebabs on fire."
A "Huh- Shit!"
A "Huh-{w=0.3} Shit!"
"I blow out the now burnt chunks of meat."
@ -453,7 +455,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
A "I dont remember now, this was like a decade ago."
A "... Orions belt?"
A "...{w=0.3} Orions belt?"
F "Anyone can name Orions belt."
@ -485,7 +487,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "Arent you the big strong man."
A "... Fuck it. A compliments a compliment."
A "...{w=0.3} Fuck it. A compliments a compliment."
"We gaze up at the night sky in companionable silence."
@ -520,9 +522,9 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "Thank you for being here with me, Anon."
A "I mean… This was all you. And Rosa and Stella too."
A "I mean… {w=0.3}This was all you. And Rosa and Stella too."
F "No, you big dweeb… I mean…"
F "No, you big dweeb… {w=0.3}I mean…"
F "Youve always been there for me even when I was so mean to you."
@ -542,7 +544,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
"Lucys fingers dance across my cheek."
"Slowly, slowly, ever so slowly."
"Slowly,{w=0.4} slowly,{w=0.4} ever so slowly."
"Her eyes lid as she leans forward, her head tilting and her mouth opening slowly."
@ -566,7 +568,7 @@ label chapter_12C:
F "I love you."
"Yeah. Me too."
"Yeah.{w=0.3} Me too."
"She giggles and lays down. Her head resting on my shoulder and her wing becoming a blanket as we look back to the stars."

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@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
"My great idea was to take out the map of the city Id had since I moved in and throw a dart at it to decide where wed go for the day."
"Theres lots of neat places in the city for dates, the mall, the arcade, a local amusement park."
pause 0.5
"...And the dart landed in the ocean over the dock."
"The look from Fang told me she wasnt stepping anywhere near a tuna boat."
@ -50,23 +50,23 @@ label chapter_12D:
"Looking through one of the map kiosks, I try to make a mental plan for the trip."
show anon neutral at aleft
show fang neutral at sright
show anon neutral at aleft with dissolve
show fang neutral at sright with dissolve
A "Uhh… They got exhibits for the deep sea, the gulf of Mexico, the dopefish, tropical reefs…"
A "Uhh… {w=0.2}They got exhibits for the deep sea, the gulf of Mexico, the dopefish, tropical reefs…"
A "... Eenie meanie mini-"
A "... Eenie{w=0.15} meanie{w=0.15} mini-"
F "Really?"
A "Sea turtles it is."
"I take Fangs hand and lead her through the lobby into the cmber labeled Sea Turtle Conservatory."
"I take Fangs hand and lead her through the lobby into the chamber labeled Sea Turtle Conservatory."
scene aquariumexhibit
scene aquariumexhibit with fade
F "Anon, are you sure you want to spend the day here? If you wanted to go to the mall or somethin- omigawd."
F "Anon, are you sure you want to spend the day here? If you wanted to go to the mall or somethin- {cps=*2.0}omigawd.{/cps}"
"A little sea turtle swims out of hiding in the tank right in front of us."
@ -74,8 +74,8 @@ label chapter_12D:
F "Look at these cute little shits, I love them!"
show fang adorable at sleft
show anon neutral at aright
show fang adorable at sleft with dissolve
show anon neutral at aright with dissolve
A "Yeah, I see them."
@ -89,7 +89,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
A "Come on Fang, theres more stuff to see."
F "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno."
F "{cps=*0.75}Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno{/cps}."
A "Theres more here than just those baby turtles, you know."
@ -107,37 +107,53 @@ label chapter_12D:
A "Oh look, a Dumbo Octopus."
F "Whereisit?"
F "{cps=*2.0}Whereisit?{/cps}"
"In a snap Fangs moved from pressing her face against the turtle tank to pressing it against the octopus tank."
scene aquariumexhibit
show fang happy at sleft
show fang happy at sleft with dissolve
#confirmed that fang has autism
Attendant "Maam, please refrain from-"
show fang adorable at sleft
F "OmigoshAnonlookatit."
F "{cps=*1.5}OmigoshAnonlookatit.{/cps}"
F "Its like a living egg yolk with button eyes."
A "Is that the first analogy you can think of…?"
F "And whats over there? Are those seahorses holy crap I have to take a video of this."
F "And whats over there? Are those seahorses{cps=*1.5} holy crap I have to take a video of this.{/cps}"
"I shrug apologetically at the attendant who has given up entirely."
#Fang has the zoomies
show fang adorable with dissolve:
zoom 0.8
yalign -0.1
xalign 1.1
pause 1.0
"But watching Fang zoom between the exhibits to gush over each oddly cute sea animal was just too much."
show fang adorable flip with dissolve:
zoom 1.0
xalign 0.1
yalign 0.1
pause 1.0
"Subtly my phone finds its way into my jacket pocket, already set to record."
show fang adorable at scenter with dissolve:
zoom 0.6
yalign 0.6
xalign 1.0
show anonphone at scenter with moveinbottom
"Shell probably kill me if she found out."
hide fang adorable with dissolve
"But itd be a good death."
pause 0.5
"Wait, whered she go?"
hide anonphone with moveoutbottom
@ -171,7 +187,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
"Fang doesnt seem completely convinced, though."
F "You sure theyre alright to just touch like that? Aren't those dangerous?"
F "You sure theyre alright to just touch like that?{w=0.2} Aren't those dangerous?"
A "I mean, its a bit slimy, but theres a hand sanitizer thing on the wall right there."
@ -200,7 +216,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
"After a few more rounds of rays, Fang decides shes had enough."
scene aquarium
scene aquarium
show anon neutral at aleft
show fang happy flip at sright
with fade
@ -290,7 +306,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
"Her dolphin duplicate did too."
A "Youre fucking with me, arent you."
A "Youre fucking with me,{w=0.2} arent you."
F "Whatre you talking about?"
@ -313,20 +329,20 @@ label chapter_12D:
scene aquariumtube with fade
"From within the glass walkway were surrounded by a myriad of colorful marine life swimming around us."
show fang surprised at sright
show anon neutral at aleft
show fang surprised at sright with dissolve
show anon neutral at aleft with dissolve
"Fangs eyes are wide as she tries to follow the different schools of fish that dart to and fro about."
"Im more mesmerized by the water filtered light cascading off Fang, casting her in a gentle glow that illuminates her white feathers."
"God. So glad Im recording this."
"God.{w=0.2} So glad Im recording this."
F "Recording what?"
show fang neutral flip with dissolve
A "The uh… The shark! Yeah, that cool looking shark over there!"
A "The uh…{w=0.3} {cps=*2.0}The shark!{/cps} Yeah, that cool looking shark over there!"
"I point to the shark thats currently lazing about, casually drifting by the walkway."
@ -350,11 +366,15 @@ label chapter_12D:
F "O-oh."
A "Wait… are you sca-"
A "Wait…{w=0.2} are you sca-"
F "No! I just… Wasnt expecting it, is all."
F "No! I just…{w=0.2} Wasnt expecting it, is all."
show anon neutral at aleft:
linear 1.0 xalign 0.5
"I offer her my hand."
"Despite her claim otherwise I can feel how tense she is by how her fingernails dig into my hand."
scene black with fade
@ -369,7 +389,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
A "Beautiful."
F "Yeah… that…"
F "Yeah…{w=0.3} that…"
"I wasnt referring to the exhibit."
@ -379,7 +399,7 @@ label chapter_12D:
"My eyes have adjusted enough that I can see Fangs eyes locked onto mine, the gossamer light making them glow."
"My lips press softly onto Fangs beak-end in a chaste peck."
F "eep!"
F "Eep!"
F "Oi! G-give me a warning next time!"
A "Mmmm… Naaaah."
@ -388,9 +408,9 @@ label chapter_12D:
"Our interlocked fingers prevent her from using her preferred elbow tactic."
A "So… had fun?"
A "So…{w=0.2} had fun?"
F "Mmmm… Maaaaybe…"
F "Mmmm… {w=0.2}Maaaaybe…"
F "Ill say yes if you delete that recording."
@ -416,8 +436,9 @@ label chapter_12D:
"And a very relaxed girlfriend."
"Overall, mission successful."
"Overall,{w=0.2} mission successful."
pause 0.5
"Except the sunburn."
"Ow."