Proofread (doing the bonus chapters because they're short and have more errors than the main game)

game/script/x1-chicxulub-gutterlane.rpy

@@ -7,17 +7,17 @@ label chapter_x1:
     pause 1
     play music 'audio/ost/prized bowling shoes.ogg' fadein 0.2
 
-    "It’s a cool autumn’s evening and for some reason I’m squeezed in a car against Moe and Naser."
+    "It's a cool autumn's evening and for some reason, I'm squeezed in a car against Moe and Naser."
 
-    "Fang’s dad was driving, and the passenger seat was taken up by a tote bag holding the family's ancient bowling balls."
+    "Fang's dad is driving, and the passenger seat is taken up by a tote bag holding the family's ancient bowling balls."
     pause .5
 
-    "Every time he looked in the rear view mirror I swear his gaze lingered on me for just a second before returning to the road."
+    "Every time he looks in the rear view mirror, I swear his gaze lingers on me for just a second before returning to the road."
 
-    "The only consolation is that if I don’t live to see the next day, it wouldn’t be because he didn’t have his priorities straight while on the road."
+    "The only consolation is that if I don't live to see the next day, it wouldn't be because he didn't have his priorities straight while on the road."
     pause .5
 
-    "The drive couldn’t have lasted for more than fifteen minutes, but it felt like a good couple of hours."
+    "The drive couldn't have lasted for more than fifteen minutes, but it felt like a good couple of hours."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     scene parkinglot with Fade(1, 0, 1)
     pause .5
 
-    "When we finally pulled into the parking lot, I step out to stretch my legs while Moe and Naser continued to catch up."
+    "When we finally pull into the parking lot, I step out to stretch my legs while Moe and Naser continue to catch up."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -37,9 +37,9 @@ label chapter_x1:
     with dissolve
     pause .5
 
-    "Naser was having a blast listening about how Fang and VVURM DRAMA knocked it out of the park at Moe’s."
+    "Naser is having a blast hearing about how Fang and VVURM DRAMA knocked it out of the park at Moe's."
 
-    "Moe was even wearing the apron Trish sold him to our little gathering."
+    "Moe's even wearing the apron Trish sold him to our little gathering."
 
     show anon neutral flip with dissolve
 
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     with dissolve
     pause .5
 
-    Moe "It’sa part o’ ma look, if I ain’ts wearin’ an apron I jus’ don’t feel right."
+    Moe "It'sa part o' ma look. if I ain'ts wearin' an apron, I jus' don't feel right."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -67,16 +67,16 @@ label chapter_x1:
     with dissolve
     pause 1
 
-    FD "Well, folks, we’re here."
+    FD "Well, folks, we're here."
 
     show anon neutral with dissolve
 
     FD "Black Hole Bowling."
     pause .5
 
-    Moe "It’s been a while, why ole’ Rip n’ me used ta come ’ere err’y weekend when we was your age."
+    Moe "It's been a while. Why, ole' Rip n' me used ta come 'ere err'y weekend when we was your age."
 
-    FD "And with my weekend off I figured I’d take the next generation for a game or two."
+    FD "And with my weekend off, I figured I'd take the next generation for a game or two."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     Nas "Surprised you brought Anon along, Dad."
 
-    Nas "That’s pretty unlike you."
+    Nas "That's pretty unlike you."
 
     show fangdad unimpressed with Dissolve(.25)
     FD "It {i}was{/i} just going to be the three of us{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
@@ -98,14 +98,14 @@ label chapter_x1:
     FD "But the {i}missus{/i} thought it would be a {i}grand{/i} idea for him to come along."
     pause .5
 
-    "Moe made an odd hand motion with his tiny limbs."
+    "Moe makes an odd hand motion with his tiny limbs."
 
     "It only made sense when he added a whip crack sound with it."
     pause .5
 
-    FD "Quiet you. I’d have your ass in bars before you’d even know it."
+    FD "Quiet, you. I'd have your ass in bars before you'd even know it."
 
-    Moe "We both knows ya won’t. C’mon kids, ole Moe needs the extra hands to git on his lucky shoes."
+    Moe "We both knows ya won't. C'mon, kids. Ole Moe needs the extra hands to git on his lucky shoes."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -122,10 +122,10 @@ label chapter_x1:
     hide fangdad with dissolve
     pause .5
 
-    "I ended up having to carry the tote bag of bowling balls inside."
+    "I end up having to carry the tote bag of bowling balls inside."
 
     show naser happy flip with dissolve
-    Nas "You’re not going to make a {i}cripple{/i} carry all those, right?"
+    Nas "You're not going to make a {i}cripple{/i} carry all those, right?"
     window hide
     window auto
 
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     pause .5
 
     show anon unimpressed with Dissolve(.25)
-    "Struggling to not fall over or snap in half like a skin-colored twig, I lugged the bag over."
+    "Struggling to not fall over or snap in half like a skin-colored twig, I lug the bag over."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -150,14 +150,14 @@ label chapter_x1:
     scene bowlingalley with Fade(1, 0, 1)
     pause .5
 
-    "After we got a lane and I placed the balls on the rack, Fangs’ father and I sat in the benches while Naser and Moe went to get some snacks."
+    "After we get a lane and I place the balls on the rack, Fang's father and I sit on the benches while Naser and Moe go to get some snacks."
 
-    "I slouch back in my seat and rest my eyes a bit."
+    "I slouch back in my seat and rest my eyes for a bit."
     pause .5
 
     "Man, those bowling balls were heavy."
 
-    "We parked pretty far away, too, so I had to carry them a good quarter mile or so."
+    "We parked pretty far away too, so I had to carry them a good quarter mile or so."
 
     "At least the benches here are clean."
     window hide
@@ -173,29 +173,29 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     "Sitting here with{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
 
-    "Fang’s father{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
+    "Fang's father{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
     pause .5
 
     "Alone."
 
     show fangdad neutral flip with dissolve
-    "My eyes widen as Mister Aaron and I face each other."
+    "My eyes widen as Mr. Aaron and I face each other."
 
     show fangdad happy flip with dissolve
     "I feel my blood turn to ice as a look of malevolent glee spreads across his face."
 
     FD "So, Anon{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
 
-    FD "We haven’t had a real heart-to-heart yet, have we?"
+    FD "We haven't had a real heart-to-heart yet, have we?"
 
-    A "Haha, really? We’ve spoken before back at your house, haven’t we sir?"
+    A "Haha, really? We've spoken before back at your house, haven't we sir?"
 
-    FD "True, but here we can really have some good ol’ Man Talk, you know?"
+    FD "True, but here we can really have some good ol' Man Talk, you know?"
 
     A "I-I see."
     pause .5
 
-    "Fang’s Mother isn’t here, and Moe’s probably dropped his order twice already."
+    "Fang's mother isn't here, and Moe's probably dropped his order twice already."
 
     "Please come back soon."
 
@@ -203,16 +203,16 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     FD "Dear Lucy, Naser. Even my old buddy Moe."
 
-    FD "Hear you’re a fast learner in his kitchen."
+    FD "Hear you're a fast learner in his kitchen."
 
     "I swallow hard as I manage a nod."
 
-    "The inside of my mouth felt like the center of the Sahara while my shirt was practically glued to my back from my sweat."
+    "The inside of my mouth feels like the center of the Sahara, while my shirt is practically glued to my back with my sweat."
     pause .5
 
     FD "You know I do actually know a bit about humans, I do."
 
-    FD "In my line of work you need to deal with all types, you know."
+    FD "In my line of work, you need to deal with all types, you know?"
 
     FD "I read this {cps=*.4}{i}reeeeaaaal{/i}{/cps} interesting thing the other day."
     pause .5
@@ -221,7 +221,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     FD "Makes sense when you think about it, but I guess it never occurred to me."
 
-    A "Uh, y-y-yeah. It k-k-kinda does, doesn’t it?"
+    A "Uh, y-y-yeah. It k-k-kinda does, doesn't it?"
 
     FD "Anyways, the article goes real in-depth about it."
 
@@ -244,17 +244,17 @@ label chapter_x1:
         easein_cubic 1 xalign -0.7
     with dissolve
 
-    Nas "Here you go Anon."
+    Nas "Here you go, Anon."
 
     "Naser drops a pair of old shoes into my lap."
 
     show naser unimpressed with Dissolve(.25)
     Nas "I asked for caveman size, but this was all they had, sorry."
 
-    "Thank you Naser, thank you! If these weren’t rentals I’d enshrine them in my home and pay them respect every day for the rest of my life."
+    "Thank you, Naser. Thank you! If these weren't rentals, I'd enshrine them in my home and pay them respect every day for the rest of my life."
 
     show naser neutral with Dissolve(.25)
-    Nas "What’re you guys up to?"
+    Nas "What're you guys up to?"
 
     show moe alt:
         yalign 0.1 xalign 2.3
@@ -262,22 +262,22 @@ label chapter_x1:
         easein_cubic 1 xalign 1.7
     with dissolve
 
-    Moe "Terrorizin’ the poor kid, I bet."
+    Moe "Terrorizin' the poor kid, I bet."
 
     "Moe sets a tray of fountain drinks and snack foods on the table with his grabby claw hands."
 
-    Moe "Ya know, Rip, jus cause yer in-law made ya piss yer britches don’t means ya gots ta do the same ta the kid."
+    Moe "Ya know, Rip, jus cause yer in-law made ya piss yer britches don't means ya gots ta do the same ta the kid."
 
     show fangdad neutral flip with Dissolve(.25)
-    FD "No clue what you’re talking about."
+    FD "No clue what you're talking about."
 
     Moe "Sure, Rip, sure."
 
     show fangdad unimpressed flip with Dissolve(.25)
-    FD "Let’s just play already."
+    FD "Let's just play already."
     pause .5
 
-    "Eager to escape his clutches I bolted for the console and started entering our names."
+    "Eager to escape his clutches, I bolt for the console and start entering our names."
     window hide
     window auto
 
@@ -291,7 +291,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     scene black with Dissolve(1)
     pause .5
 
-    "Fang’s dad was up first, and for some reason his solid flesh-tone ball seemed a lot newer than the others."
+    "Fang's dad is up first, and for some reason his solid flesh-tone ball seems a lot newer than the others."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -301,9 +301,9 @@ label chapter_x1:
         yalign 0.1 xalign 0.0
     with Dissolve(1)
 
-    "He made a show of inserting his clawed fingers into each of the holes while making sure I had a real good angle."
+    "He makes a show of inserting his clawed fingers into each of the holes while making sure I have a real good angle."
 
-    "He even oriented the ball so that the holes lined up into a little screaming face."
+    "He's even oriented the ball so that the holes line up into a little screaming face."
     window hide
     window auto
     pause .5
@@ -318,9 +318,9 @@ label chapter_x1:
     pause 2.5
     show fangdad happy with Dissolve(.25)
 
-    Nas "Wow pops, another strike!"
+    Nas "Wow, Pops. Another strike!"
 
-    FD "S’all in the form, Naser."
+    FD "S'all in the form, Naser."
 
     show fangdad neutral flip with dissolve
     FD "If ya picture the pins as something you {i}really{/i} despise{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
@@ -337,7 +337,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     "I think I just made bam in my pants."
     pause .5
 
-    Moe "Sheesh Rip. Give it a break for a bit."
+    Moe "Sheesh, Rip. Give it a break for a bit."
 
     "Yes. Maybe two bits even."
     window hide
@@ -349,7 +349,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     hide fangdad with dissolve
     pause .5
 
-    Moe "Alrights Anon, yer up."
+    Moe "Alrights, Anon. Yer up."
 
     "I nod and get up from my seat."
     window hide
@@ -363,27 +363,27 @@ label chapter_x1:
     with dissolve
     pause .5
 
-    "The ball I’ve got is borrowed from the bowling lane, it’s logo making creative use of the finger holes."
+    "The ball I've got is borrowed from the bowling lane, its logo making creative use of the finger holes."
 
-    "A shame the only one they had left was a size too small and my fingers barely fit."
+    "A shame the only one they had left was a size too small and my fingers barely fit into it."
     pause .5
 
     "I heft the smaller ball and take my cues from all my best attempts in Ninpebble Stick Bowling."
 
-    "Lining up the shot I look down the lane at the pins."
+    "Lining up the shot, I look down the lane at the pins."
 
     show anon pissed
     show dimmer_light behind anon
     with dissolve
-    "Using Rip’s advice I picture Naomi’s face on the pins."
+    "Using Rip's advice, I picture Naomi's face on the pins."
 
-    "Sorry not sorry Naser."
+    "Sorry not sorry, Naser."
 
     show anon:
         easein_cubic 1 xalign 0.1
         pause .25
         easein_cubic 1 xalign -0.2
-    "With a big wind up that threatens to pull my arm from it’s socket I launch the ball."
+    "With a big wind up that threatens to pull my arm from its, socket I launch the ball."
 
     stop music fadeout 4
     "Right into the back of my foot."
@@ -435,7 +435,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     A "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING TOM AND JERRY BULLSHIT HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS FUCKING HAPPEN!"
 
-    A "DON’T JUST STAND THERE AND GAWK YOU JACKASSES GET A FUCKING FIRST AID BOX OR SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE! YOU USELESS FUCKING ASSHOLES HOLY SHIT THIS HURTS LIKE HELL!"
+    A "DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND GAWK YOU JACKASSES GET A FUCKING FIRST AID BOX OR SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE! YOU USELESS FUCKING ASSHOLES HOLY SHIT THIS HURTS LIKE HELL!"
 
     A "AAAAAA FUCK MY FUCKING FOOT I THINK I BROKE MY FUCKING FOOT!"
 
@@ -453,25 +453,25 @@ label chapter_x1:
     with dissolve
     pause 1
 
-    "When I finally stop to catch my breath I realize all eyes in the building are on me."
+    "When I finally stop to catch my breath, I realize all eyes in the building are on me."
 
     "Naser has his phone set on me."
 
-    "Even Fang’s father is staring with a dumbfounded look on his face."
+    "Even Fang's father is staring with a dumbfounded look on his face."
 
-    "I break out into a sweat again, eyes darting to find the nearest bathroom."
+    "I break out into a sweat again, my eyes darting for the nearest bathroom."
     pause .5
 
-    "Moe gestures to Mister Ripley."
+    "Moe gestures to Mr. Ripley."
 
-    Moe "That beats your record, don’t it?"
+    Moe "That beats your record, don't it?"
 
     "An attendant throws his hands in the air."
 
-    Attendant "It does! It’s a new record!"
+    Attendant "It does! It's a new record!"
     pause .5
 
-    "All at once all the patrons of the bowling alley burst into cheers and applause."
+    "All at once, all the patrons of the bowling alley burst into cheers and applause."
 
     show anon:
         easein_cubic 1 xalign 0.95
@@ -505,7 +505,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     Moe "The last record was only five minutes and some change."
 
     show anon unimpressed flip with Dissolve(.25)
-    A "That’s nice and all but MY FOOT IS STILL FUCKING BROKEN!"
+    A "That's nice and all but MY FOOT IS STILL FUCKING BROKEN!"
 
     Nas "Does it even still hurt?"
 
@@ -525,11 +525,11 @@ label chapter_x1:
     "Moe knocks a fist against the bottom of his skull, a metallic thump echoing out."
     pause .5
 
-    Attendant "The manager’s approved a reward for beating out the twenty-year-old record!"
+    Attendant "The manager's approved a reward for beating out the twenty-year-old record!"
 
     A "Oh, cool, a bowling ball of my own?"
 
-    Attendant "Those shoes you’re wearing, they’re yours."
+    Attendant "Those shoes you're wearing, they're yours."
     pause .5
 
     "Naser stifles a cough."
@@ -540,7 +540,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     Moe "Either way, we should probably get a first aid kit."
 
     show naser considering with Dissolve(.25)
-    Nas "Think I saw one by the entrance, let’s go get it."
+    Nas "Think I saw one by the entrance. Let's go get it."
     window hide
     window auto
 
@@ -556,14 +556,14 @@ label chapter_x1:
 
     "The two go hunting for the first aid kit, and I am left alone with Mister Ripley again."
 
-    "I don’t really care anymore right now, I’m just worn out."
+    "I don't really care anymore right now. I'm just worn out."
     pause .5
 
-    FD "Y’know{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
+    FD "Y'know{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
 
     "Here we go."
 
-    FD "I didn’t know you had it in you."
+    FD "I didn't know you had it in you."
     pause .5
 
     A "Had what in me?"
@@ -586,9 +586,9 @@ label chapter_x1:
     A "O-oh, thank you, sir."
     pause 1
 
-    A "Does that mean you’re okay with-"
+    A "Does that mean you're okay with-"
 
-    FD "You set foot near second base I’ll finish the job that bowling ball couldn’t."
+    FD "You set foot near second base, I'll finish the job that bowling ball couldn't."
 
     A "Understood."
     pause .5
@@ -596,7 +596,7 @@ label chapter_x1:
     show fangdad happy with Dissolve(.25)
     FD "Good talk."
 
-    FD "Next time, we oughtta go fishing together."
+    FD "Next time, we oughta go fishing together."
 
     A "Next time?"