fix Naomi dialogue for the 5D chess reveal in ch6

game/script/2.fourth-day-of-school.rpy

@@ -2143,12 +2143,14 @@ label chapter_2:
 
     "Her shrill goody goody sugary voice is piercing through the chatter of the lunchroom,{w=.4} I don’t wanna reply if it means hearing more of her voice{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
 
-    N "Tell me,{w=.2} Anon!{w=.4} What were you and Fang talking about?{w=.4} I didn’t know you were friends!"
+    N "Wasn't that Naser's sister?{w=.4} How wonderful that you're making friends,{w=.2} Anon!"
+
+    N "Tell me everything!{w=.4} What were you and Fang talking about?"
 
     show naomi explanatory:
         ease 0.25 yalign 0.05
         ease 0.25 yalign 0.0
-    N "I wanna know about everything!"
+    N "I wanna know all about it!"
     show naomi neutral with Dissolve(.25)
 
     "Oh help me,{w=.1} God.{w=.4} I just can’t catch a break."

game/script/4.anon-needs-help-during-music-period.rpy

@@ -86,9 +86,41 @@ label chapter_4:
 
     show naomi explanatory
     N "Come on,{w=.2} Anon,{w=.4} let's continue our conversation from earlier!"
-    show naomi neutral
 
-    "I need to think of something,{w=.4}  and fast."
+    N "You know,{w=.3} about extracurriculars like the gardening club!"
+    show naomi neutral with Dissolve(.25)
+
+    "Urrrrrgh{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
+    
+    A "I don’t think I have the time.{w=.4} I’m way behind in some of my classes already."
+    
+    show naomi sad with Dissolve(.25)
+    N "You're talking about Music, aren't you?"
+
+    show naser considering with Dissolve(.25)
+    Nas "Naomi,{w=.2} please stop memorizing the schedules of the new students."
+
+    show naomi considering with Dissolve(.25)
+    N "Sorry, it's necessary for record keeping."
+    pause .5
+
+    "Naomi places a finger on her chin{w=.15}(?){w=.15} for a moment and stares into space.{w=.5} Suddenly,{w=.3} her face lights up."
+    
+    show naser neutral
+    show naomi happy 
+    with dissolve
+    N "Wait,{w=.2} don't you share that class with Fang?{w=.4} Why not ask her,{w=.2} I'm sure she'd lend a hand!"
+    pause .5
+
+    A "I dunno{cps=*.1}...{/cps}{w=.2} she's usually very busy with her own work,{w=.3} and I don't want to bother her more than I already do every day."#
+
+    show naomi neutral with Dissolve(.25)
+    N "It can't hurt to ask,{w=.2} though,{w=.3} right?{w=.4} Just a thought."
+    pause .5
+
+    N "Anyway,{w=.3} will you be joining us for lunch again?"
+
+    "I need to think of something,{w=.4} and fast."
 
     A "Err,{w=.3} sorry.{w=.4} I already promised Fang I’d be eating with her."
     pause .5
@@ -99,7 +131,7 @@ label chapter_4:
     show naomi considering with Dissolve(.25)
     N "Oh{cps=*.1}...{/cps}"
 
-    show naomi neutral
+    show naomi neutral with Dissolve(.15)
     N "Oh!"
 
     show naomi explanatory
@@ -119,7 +151,7 @@ label chapter_4:
     show naser considering
     N "I’ve asked Principal Spears before,{w=.4} he sees no issue with it."
 
-    A "Huh.{w=.4} Anyways,{w=.2} I uh{cps=*.1}...{/cps}{w=.2} Don’t want to keep them waiting!"
+    A "Huh.{w=.4} Anyways,{w=.2} I uh{cps=*.1}...{/cps}{w=.2} don’t want to keep them waiting!"
 
     show naser happy
     Nas "See you."
@@ -514,12 +546,7 @@ label chapter_4:
 
     "I lean back in my uncomfortable chair hoping to pop my spine back in place."
 
-    # TODO: added to resolve Anon's premonition, to be reviewed by writing team
-    # "{cps=*.1}...{/cps}Bet if I shared this class with Naomi she'd pester me into asking Fang for help right about now."
-    "{cps=*.1}...{/cps}I can guess exactly what Naomi would suggest if we shared this class."
-
-    # TODO: this line doesn't actually occur until chapter 6
-    N "{i}\"Oh!{w=.4} What if you asked Fang for help?\"{/i}"
+    N "{i}\"Wait,{w=.2} don't you share that class with Fang?{w=.4} Why not ask her,{w=.2} I'm sure she'd lend a hand!\"{/i}"
     pause .5
 
     "I crane my head,{w=.3} looking for Fang.{w=.5} She's at her own desk she’s filling out her assignment page easily,{w=.4} drumming her fingers on her desk.{w=.6} Almost looks like she’s strumming honestly."
@@ -543,11 +570,10 @@ label chapter_4:
     "I look at the papers we need to finish.{w=.5} Fuck me,{w=.4} how the hell are we suppose to finish these by the end of class?!"
     pause .5
 
-    # TODO: this line is also from chapter 6
-    N "{i}\"It can’t hurt to ask, though,{w=.4} right?\"{/i}"
+    N "{i}\"It can’t hurt to ask, though,{w=.3} right?\"{/i}"
     pause .5
 
-    "Maybe the Neon Nero has a good point."
+    "Maybe the Neon Nero had a good point."
 
     "Still,{w=.4} interrupting Fang now might piss her off."
 

game/script/6.anon-helps-fang-find-a-venue-for-band.rpy

@@ -1484,15 +1484,11 @@ label chapter_6:
     pause .5
 
     # TODO: this dialogue doesn't appear to have made the final cut in previous chapters
-    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"Oh,{w=.4} you’re spending time with Fang?\"{/i}{/alpha}"
+    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"Wasn't that Naser's sister?{w=.4} How wonderful that you're making friends,{w=.2} Anon!\"{/i}{/alpha}"
 
-    A "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"She just needed me for some feedback.\"{/i}{/alpha}"
+    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"Tell me everything!{w=.4} What were you and Fang talking about?\"{/i}{/alpha}"
 
-    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"I see.{w=.4} I think it’s wonderful you’re making more friends here!\"{/i}{/alpha}"
-
-    A "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"Could you really say we’re friends?{w=.4} We’ve only met two or three times.\"{/i}{/alpha}"
-
-    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"I think you and Fang would make wonderful friends!{w=.4} She needs more friends like you!\"{/i}{/alpha}"
+    N "{alpha=0.75}{i}\"I wanna know all about it!\"{/i}{/alpha}"
     pause .5
 
     "{i}Fuck{/i},{w=.5} how didn’t I notice?"
@@ -2171,7 +2167,7 @@ label chapter_6:
 
     A "He’ll listen to you."
 
-    A "Hes only doing this because your dad put him up to it."
+    A "He's only doing this because your dad put him up to it."
     pause .5
 
     A "I think he trusts you enough to be willing to take Naomi elsewhere for a while."
@@ -2253,7 +2249,7 @@ label chapter_6:
     Nas "Dad said he’ll do to {i}me{/i} anything that you do to Fang!"
     pause .5
 
-    "Everyone else" "{cps=*.3}...What...{/cps}"
+    "Anon, Fang & Naomi" "{cps=*.3}...What...{/cps}"
 
     # F "...What..."
     # A "...What..."